Pitchers and Catchers, Reported

At last.  Amid Lin-sanity and the TCU football team turning into The Wire, baseball is finally kind of, sort of on the horizon.  Pitchers and catchers have reported, and, before we know it, ESPN will be showing cheap-camera highlights from jealousy-invoking warm Florida and Texas split-squad Spring Training games.

Usually, this is the time for writers to rehash the big offseason moves and make clichéd predictions for new arrivals.  The Braves, coming off a devastating late-season collapse survivable only by the simultaneous Red Sox disaster, remained remarkably silent this winter.  While Boston all but firebombed the clubhouse to get out the chicken-grease stains, Atlanta will bring back an almost identical squad.  This seems to contradict conventional wisdom, but maybe it makes sense.  This team was all but a shoe-in for the wild card spot, and, unlike Boston’s hired gun and aging home-grown collective, the Braves squad was an overachieving young team with loads of still-developing talent.  Frank Wren rolled the dice that the team learned for last season and will continue to grow, which, honestly, is probably a less risky proposition than blowing up a nucleus when the obvious answers (a big bit in the middle and a proven shortstop not allergic to productive at-bats) weren’t really out there, at least in Atlanta’s price range.

Here’s an incredibly short list of the team’s offseason moves, and my incredibly brief thoughts on them:

Alex Gonzalez signs with the Milwaukee Brewers.

            Watching Alex Gonzalez play defense was no longer worth watching Alex Gonzalez play offense.  Jack Wilson and a rookie are the best replacements.  We’ll see.

3 out of 5 Schuerholzes 

Derek Lowe and cash traded to the Cleveland Indians for Chris Jones.

           

            Derek Lowe was the worst player on our team for most of last fall.  He was the best player on our team for most of fall 2010.  He is also very old and would have blocked a rotation slot for one of our young, high-upside arms.  We can pretend the $10 million we are paying him not to play for us is actually being spent on finding the real Fausto Carmona if that makes us happier.

5 out of 5 Schuerholzes

Nate McLouth signs with the Pittsburgh Pirates.

           

            Nate McLouth forgot how to play baseball.  Maybe his life is a cheesy drama and he’ll remember how to play in Pittsburgh.  At least I won’t have to wonder why Nate McLouth isn’t good 162 times this year.

3.5 out of 5 Schuerholzes

That’s pretty much it.  Seems boring, but remember, as sour the taste in our mouths was last October, this team has lots of room to grow.  And Albert Pujols betrayed the Redbirds, so at least they’ll probably fail.  Let the games of catch commence.  Let the Chop spring.