Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Chop Half Full

In the spirit of eternal optimism, I present five more devastating ways the Braves could lose an important regular season game in the ninth inning than having the Hall-of-Fame, face of the franchise third basemen lose a groundball in the lights with two outs, then the (undeserving) contact-hitting All-Star infielder you traded away for Dan Uggla hit a two-strike walk-off homerun off an elite closer.

5.  Brian McCann hits a deep gapper with the bases loaded, but second base-runner Nate McLouth confuses clockwise with  counter-clockwise and causes Chipper Jones and McCann to be doubled off for the final two outs.  A confused McLouth needlessly slides into home plate as the game ends.

4.  Brooks Conrad is forced to play third base due to injuries and has two groundballs go through his legs.

3.  After making a fine running catch on a one-out foul ball, Jason Heyward is discreetly tripped by the Phillie Phanatic.  While Hewyard lies unconscious, Ryan Howard tags from first and narrowly beats Michael Bourn's throw for the game-winning run.

2.  After 7.1 shutout innings, Julio Teheran is hit in the face with a line drive.  On successive pitches in relief, Ed O'Flaherty, Jonny Venters and Craig Kimbrel suffer torn labrums.  Attending the game in person, Braves legend Hank Aaron suffers a major stroke.  Watching from his home in Marietta, iconic manager Bobby Cox forgets to turn the stove off and ruins his favorite saucepan.

1.  With two on and one out, a lineup error forces Fredi Gonzalez to bat Alex Gonzalez three times in a row in a one-run game.

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